Missing the craziness

It has been more than 10 days that I've been enjoying joblessness. Thinking of what to do next, all sorts of crazy ideas are creeping into my mind, and twice in my thought process map, I ended up being a billionaire :D

I finally reached home yesterday and I must say I was waiting (or rather dying) to get out of Bangalore for quite some time. But just as in past, (When as a kid, I was dying to get older and get out of the school, when I was dying to get out of the college, when I was dying get into a company and make money), I am feeling sad after having done for what I was dying for. Yes, I feel sad after leaving Bangalore. I miss Bangalore !! (which I never thought I would)

What do you call a congenial, captivating, cosmopolitan confluence of software and shopping malls, electronics and environment friendliness, salubrious climate and cleanliness, modern outlook and old worldliness, precision engineering and pubs? You call it India's best city for business and fun. It is also called Bangalore. Don't be mistaken, this is what I used to think of Bangalore before I came here. I still feel pretty much the same; its just that the words - congenial, environment friendliness, cleanliness, modern outlook and pubs from the above list are now OUT !!

I had earlier decided to write something else on this blog, but since I'm missing the calmness of Bangalore so much today, I thought I will pen down my thoughts in a series of blogs on Bangalore. I don't know how to organize this stuff so I'm going ahead with the random thoughts that are crossing my mind.

Even though I've stayed in Bangalore for just 30 months, I've more memories of it than any other phase of my life. Its the city where I made some wonderful friends, the city where I spent more than 9 Lacs in 2 years without buying a thing for myself, the city where one fall in love with oneself. The place where 2 things royally screwed me- my office and the traffic .
Add to that the crazy and stupid government !!  It was one hell of a time I've had !!

Let me get over with things I hate about Bangalore first. The pleasent things are saved for future blogs :)
Things that made me run away -

1. One way or no way - "Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do I" has always been my philosophy. In fact it is a philosophy that most men subscribe to. And if you are one of them and decide to drive in Bangalore, you are in deep shit !! The only measure to tackle traffic taken by the stupid government is creating "one ways" in Bangalore. If they still fail to avoid congestion, they come up with an even better solution - "more one ways". To top it all, you'll find traffic signals on a flyover !! How innovative !!

2. Traffic - You can survive cancer, but you cannot survive Bangalore traffic. It is so bad that on numerous occasions I stayed back at office just to avoid traffic jams. In my 30 months of stay at Bangalore, I think I have spent more than 2 months on road. Everyday I used to ride for about 50-60 mins on average (one way) to reach my office which is some 8-9 kms from my home. People in Bangalore strongly believe that lane markings on roads are there for decoration. Under no circumstances, they shall be confused with anything else. Same holds true for traffic lights.
The horn, a vital part of Bangalore driving pleasure,has a number of uses most important being seeking the attention of pretty chicks walking along the road. Bangalore also saves a lot of fuel every year. This, by means of citizens accommodating 4 people on a 100 cc bike. Even though they might be violating a few stupid traffic rules, I believe they are risking their lives for a noble cause - to make this planet greener. I strongly believe such activities shall be encouraged all over India. And we shall influence rest of the world to do so as well by means of summits such as at Copenhagen held this year.
It is common to encounter infinitely long traffic jams. The reason - some guy on a bike is trying to take a U-turn some 20 kms down the road.

The Bangalore metro rail and Bangalore infrastructure corridor projects have been going on since ages. Mr. Deve Gowda was the CM when he started it (the infrastructure corridor project), then he became the PM, then the ex-PM, then the Super-CM and then history. But the project is still as young as Mr. Deve Gowda used to be 45 years ago. May be, my children (or my grand children) would be lucky enough to witness this grand project to completion. (I don't really understand what this project is all about. There is absolutely no structure in Bangalore infrastructure)

We all must have seen stickers that say "Baby on Board". Maybe we should make some that say "Stupid Parent on Board" as well. Few weeks back, a guy was knocked over by a car that suddenly veered into him while he was waiting to cross the road. The reason? The driver of the car had a child on his lap. The kid suddenly pulled at the steering wheel causing the car to go off track. The guy’s excuse.. "I only do it on quiet roads". What is the word that comes to your mind?

While this all seems completely insane (and in some ways it is), I've not seen many accidents, nor are there many vehicles bearing the scars of impact. In some strange way it all works. There is enough respect (if that's the right word) on the roads that plenty of room is made for vehicles of all types, the pedestrians, cows (yes, cows), dogs, pushbikes, and carts.

3. Night life sucks - If you are coming to Bangalore to enjoy the night life, don't bother. Pubs close at around 11.30. And, there is really no time to party. If you start at around 7 pm, by the time you reach you reach the pub(some 6 kms away) after picking up your friends, it's already closing time(all thanks to the wonderful one ways and traffic) !! Now you understand why TRP ratings of all TV shows are up in Bangalore :)

4. Lots of money for value - Yes, Bangalore is a very expensive place. Rent for a 1 BHK house in a semi-decent locality is more than the average monthly income of an average Indian citizen. Thinking of buying an apartment, well forget it !! Even if you decide to spend your 10 year's savings, take a loan equal to thrice the savings and buy one apartment, your panoramic view will be of a village approximately 15 kms from Bangalore city. The prices of vegetables are so high, I wonder why don't they sell them at the jewellery shops.


5. Forum, McDonalds, Microsoft, Google, Audi, but no US visa - You can get a McVeggie burger in Bangalore but if you want a VISA, you'll have to go to Chennai or Delhi. What does that tell you?



Despite all this, there is a strange calm in the madness. It is hard to explain unless you have experienced it yourself. There is something in the place that binds all the Bangalorians together. The madness, I believe becomes a part of us and we become a part of the madness.

I think it is this madness, a part of me, which I am missing now and will miss forever.

Disclaimer : I understand that in India, a war can be started by mentioning one of the three things – Sachin Tendulkar, Sourav Ganguly, Bangalore. (Telengana is catching up fast). The intention of this post is not to hurt anyone's sentiments. It is supposed to be a light hearted funny post and should be treated that way. And yes, I love Bangalore :)